Friday, December 25, 2009

nine-eleven

i ain't never knew a rainbow
but in a paradoxical universe
there's cause for a celebration


baby...today is our fiftieth wedding anniversary
however, the present day dictates
i'm that unfortunate victim
or
for lack of a better word
a widow(er) of circumstance
uncontrollably spiraling into
a black sea of nothin'ness
mourning the day
you were taken away from me
without reason or warning


so, what do I do now?
let you go?
and move on with my life
or maybe
should I pretend?
that you never existed
please understand

it's easier said
than done


everyday i'm reminded
of the emptiness
inside of me
that's unable to be filled
by anyone but you


i know i usually have a bad memory
but
i remember it like yesterday
6 years - 5 months - 5 days
to be exact
which is branded

with an ultraviolet, indelible ink
upon my heart


all I can do is
half-heartedly cope
by blindly sleepwalking
as i'm engulfed in a state of loneliness
as I bypass those
broken promises
and
yellow brick road dreams
of ever having you in my life


sucker punched
and
catapulted
into a dismal wasteland of
acidic realities
that submerge me
into a pool of applesauce
my only treatment is to
impregnate my wounds
with a medicinal substance

i've learned
to duck and dance between the raindrops
hoping and wanting
to catch that next train
leading me to that alternate universe
for that last...
look - kiss - embrace
coming to the realization
without a last and final goodbye



i'm nothing more than
an undefined mammal
who has the eyes
but is
missing a face





K-NYNE©2008

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